Worst Jokes Ever
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.