Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Yo hairline so bent even Bob the Builder can’t fix it!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?