Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.