Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What's an orphan's second favorite movie?
Home Alone 2.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
What is a Mexican's favorite move in a video game?
Wall jumping.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
