Worst Jokes Ever
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.