Worse jokes
"(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP: TEENY DICK
BUMP: TINY TIT
GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP: AN ASS
DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.