So on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky. Dad: aren't the stars just wonderful? I'm not sure, from my angle all I see is clouds. Dad: Well come over hear and take a look. Boy: Damm, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!!! Dad: Well then I guess I will have too make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said... NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game... oh wait he cant
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
I used to have a girlfriend, who would argue with me a lot for no reason, I look at her feet and say to her, here is £15 give yourself a foot pedicure then come back to me it clearly shows you have man feet, you are a woman you should have woman feet, no wonder you boss me around too much as if your the man of the house.
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater.... He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read....
The other day while I was going down on my grandma , I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her !!!!!
I said Urainus! And the girl beside me face palmed :/ I wonder what i did wrong?
Addicted what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore? Damn whore your not that addicted when u spread your legs open for any man no wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass. Lol
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says: Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE ....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless RIP Meh Soul
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog
So I went to a mall and I was finna buy sumn...and I saw a little boy and he said "hello",so then I past by him and he said "hi" and I was like "hi nigga" and he said "um just wondering sumn..."i mean I like jokes but what is dark humor?" And i was like "umm🤔.. its like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy with out legs? Tell him to stand up"...and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"...aight nigga peace and look out😏😉
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
What is the definition of Endless Love? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)
What did Stevie wonder see when he got Murdered
Nothing
Me: Hey, mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and a mop “Huh, I wonder why he needs a mop?”
