What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
Women Jokes
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅
Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
