Women jokes
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?