Wife jokes
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
I miss my wife, Tails.
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...