Whos jokes

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?

Their ankles.

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.