Use jokes
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.