One day little Jonny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there so he went in to use it and asked his mom what is that between your legs. His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened but with his dad. He asked his dad what is that between his legs. He said my snake. The same thing happened one more time except with his grandmother. Little Jonny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said my headlights. One night little Jonny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said grandmaw grand maw turn on your head lights daddy snake is trying to get into mommy's bush.
what did stephen hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter, beep boop beep beep boop.
A man got pulled over and the policeman had stepped out and said do you know how fast you were going and the man said I was trying to catch up with the traffic and the officer said there is no traffic the man said exactly that’s how far behind I am
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest. He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my mrs was playing with my cock trying to get it to go hard, she asked me whats the matter i said i just dont find women without hair very attractive
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- " You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! yeah I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Among us is a game (skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill every one, do this sound similar on September 11, 2001...
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."
Follow Me On TikTok @yvngkchris Joke:At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
Why do orphans hate Cosco? Because they cant get in and try the free samples
How many wee-tahds does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
click...uh click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
there’s This cat !!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
Q. why the orphan was unable to use the phone A. he was trying to phone home
Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!
YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.
Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go in to the.
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, Axe it's head.
Axe it's head defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding... ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically,"No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
so once upon a time there was a man who lived in his house with his wife
he got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him
not even 4 seconds later he came back inside panicking, saying "there's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
the wife replied "oh don't worry rabbits don't have guns they can't shoot people- you must be imagining things"
the man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again
so he stepped outside the front door and the rabbit shot him
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft? “ A sped runner”.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where saint Peter greets them hello sisters welcome to heaven before you enter I must ask you all a question he asks the first nun have you ever touched a penis well she said just once with the tip of my little finger ok dip it in the holy water and you can enter he repeats the question to the second nun well she says I might of held one once ok says st Peter wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter just then there's a commotion down the line one nun is trying to push in front of another st Peter says sister Susan there is no rush you will get in that's fine she replys but if I have to gargle that stuff I want to get in before sister Mary sticks her arse in it.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
