New Trys Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years". I walked away shocked but not surprised

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. they did this one time a night. The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said eww it tastes like cheese and onions. The husband replied hang on I haven't put the condom on yet.

If you argued that god was a woman 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell Just to ask the other guy. Talk about a male supremacist religion.

Why did a orphan go on google maps? To try and find there parents.

Y did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex Oh were you talking to me I thought you only talked behind my back Hold still I am trying to imagine you with a personality

this ole boy thats locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her and she said well fuck you i dont need you no more anyway I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me and he said well honey thats the least of my worries I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin to fuck me

Why do your orphans don’t drink beer. Because last time they did he went to suck some dudes toes then he try to take him to his parents but I guess that never happened

what happens when a emo kid try's to Hight five you??? you leave him hanging

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree

The tree leaves them hanging

Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is ( Gods gift to this earth) The best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!

Hahaha LOL Jajaj

And I Quote! " THATS WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"

GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT

If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't of made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!

Stressed Out-By- Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions-I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words I wish I found some chords In an order that is new I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink But now I'm insecure And I care what people think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”

Gemini, it is you who is trying to start such a big mess for no reason. I never said it had a charm or a lead roll. I just want love and spread kindness. PS: I use my brain. I use it all the time. Just for your information. I just hope we can be friends.

Best-Gwen

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going. The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun...and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl I saw a red truck. So I said "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said "oh and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Ok Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD- My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down

Would you like to try African food??? They would to.

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mummies chest? Dad: i don't see balloons, but i see boobs, i mean, yes balloons Son: Are you sure they're balloons yesterday i heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working

kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego's will you please help me Kids- where's dora Swiper- she's under cardiac arrest kids - poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!!