Truth jokes
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂