Thief jokes

Greg fucking steals toes!

Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.