The jokes
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked up.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂