The jokes
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.
Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!
Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Memes
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawkins die? They unplugged the WiFi.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
Why did the amogus act sus? He was an amogus! hahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha
Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
Why was the fanny flat?
So it can flop about.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.