The jokes
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.