The jokes

An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

"What is it?" she asked.

"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

"And your final wish?" the genie asked.

"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?

Diddler on the Roof.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

What is the worst part about siblings having sex?

Being left out.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?

He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!

What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen and two towers.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.