The jokes
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.