The jokes
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.