Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
What the worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
