Suffocation jokes

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

[being buried alive]

Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?

I don't know. I suffocated at birth.