A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didnât think anyone would stand up so she asked him, âWhy did you stand up?â He answered, âI didnât want to leave you standing up by yourself.â
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, âWhich human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?â
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, âYou should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! Iâm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!â
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, âWhich body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?â
Little Maryâs mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, âBoy, is she going to get in big trouble!â
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, âAnybody?â
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, âThe body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.â
Mrs. Parks said, âVery good, Billy,â then turned to Mary and continued.
âAs for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didnât read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.â
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, âa lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.â
âThat explains one black eye,â the wife says, âbut what about the other?â The man explains, âI figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up thereâ
An old professorâs class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, âGood morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?â With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. âWait, ladies,â called the professor, âThe boat doesnât leave until tomorrow!â
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, theyâre deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctorâs office first and asked if he understood that heâd be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, âJon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?â Jon said, âIâd be half blind.â âThatâs correct. What if I poked out both eyes?â âIâd be completely blind.â The doctor stood up, shook Jonâs hand, and told him he was free.
On Jonâs way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, âWhat would happen if I cut off one ear?â Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, âIâd be half blind.â The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. âWhat if I cut off the other ear?â âIâd be completely blind,â Amanpreet answered. âAmanpreet, can you explain how youâd be *blind*?â âMy hat would fall down over my eyes.â
Stephen hawking once stood up to bow down to chuck norris
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Mother, father and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie. During dinner time: Father: Son what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: okay! okay! I watched porn dad. Dad: what? you watched porn? you are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 yrs of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said "sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
hehe
My teacher asked the class to stand up if your dumb, no one did so she said â comon someone must be dumbâ and pointed over to the left side of the class room , lil Jonny stands up , âdo you think ur dumb ,lil Jonny ?â Asked the teacher ,âno I just feel bad for you , your the only one who whoâs stood up â replied lil Jonny!
One day little Jonnys is in class it is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid stand up." lIttle Jonny stood up. The teacher asked him why do you think you're stupid. Little Jonny said I don't think I am stupid. Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone.
A man walked into a bar with a ak-47 with 50 round mag and yelled out who the fuck fucked my wife, everyone was quiet. one man at the back stood up and called, sorry mate but i dont think you have enough bullets.
sso i was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids table i stood up and i threw a opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled. "25 kill streak" đ¤Łđ
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance
So a man walks into the bar. The bartender looks to him and says, "You look like your having a rough day, tell me about it?"
The man then stood up and became mario
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding.
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked, he thought "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened" so he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her. Wonder Woman stood up and said "What was that?" the Invisible man said "I don't know but my asshole stinks"