Squirm jokes

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.