Squirm jokes

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”