SOS jokes
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a bowl!
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.
Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.