SOS jokes

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.

Yo mama so fat, she sat next to everyone on the plane.

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so dumb, she failed lunch.

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.