SOS jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."