SOS jokes
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Yo mama so fat, she sat next to everyone on the plane.
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama so dumb, she failed lunch.
Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.
Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.