SOS Jokes

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?

It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.

Why shouldn’t you call people in china?

Because there are so many wings and wongs you might wing the wong number