I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat,
xbox
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
