SOS jokes

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.

Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭

What did one chair say to the other?

"I'm so bummed out!"

The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.