SOS jokes

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!

Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!