Shutting

Shutting Jokes

Can people please shut up about 'male privileges'. There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of β€œwomen only” events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute

Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up feminists please.

People who are bothering Gwen, stop this is a joke site and you guys should know that!!!! People she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? NO!!! SHUT UP AND LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!

The person I hate. Omg my mom and dad just died. Me. Omg I am so sorry dount worry. The person I hate. I have a boyfriend. Me well I have a mom and dad. The person I hate. Rood. Me. Shut up.

Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"

Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now this essay counts as the final grade for the semester, now do it or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100 and we'll start reading from there, do you all understand?

Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today ... do we?

Mrs. Lewis: Yes! Is today!

Andrua: It sounds boring and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way to much of instructions.

Mrs.Lewis : Anyway, let's get to work.

56 hours later.

Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your eassy. When I call your name Carl.

Carl: Why me. Yes?

Mrs.Lewis : What did you like about the story Carl?

Carl: Um ... I liked it when ... um ... um ... um ... um ...

Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's to busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!

Carl: Jeklen shut up and stop biting your hair.

Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.

Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?

Carl: Will, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so ...

Vronica: For real!

Carl: Mhmmm

Mrs.Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!

Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.

Mrs.Lewis: Yes?

Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?

Mrs.Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!

All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!

Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?

Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the bordom!

Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee

Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11 ... I think ...

Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.

Oh sorry ... I think.

Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?

All students: That not a thing!

I never heard it ...

Mrs. Lewis: Will, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!

Khloe: Why?

Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.

Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?

Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!

Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...

Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?

Bianca (πŸ˜”): Yes, for you it is.

Carly (😟): What's wrong?

Bianca (πŸ˜•): Nothing nothing at all ...

Carly (😠): Don't lie to me ...

Carly (πŸ€”): Hmmm ... Jordan ???

Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this ...

Bianca (πŸ˜”πŸ™„πŸ˜’): Thank you ... no ... and I don't give a damn anymore!

Carly (😠): Bianca trust me, you don't love him anyway!

Bianca (πŸ˜’): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.

Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want ...

Bianca (πŸ˜”): Well ... shut your mouth and leave me alone!

Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot !!! The things I would do!

Y'uree (😟): Yes, but ... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job", so she is now leaving until the fall.

Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE !!!!!

Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!

Jarod: (πŸ˜’): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!

Jarod (πŸ€”): Hmmmmmmm ..... mhmmmmmm ..... ummmmm ..... hmmmmm .... not a bad idea!

Jarod (🀨): Or not?

Y'uree (πŸ™„): Shut up, man!

Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX

Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground. Terrified, he dials 911 and says β€œHelp! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, β€œI need you to make sure he’s dead. The hunter replies, β€œOk I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says β€œI checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, β€œI need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says β€œWhat’s next?” The nurse replies, β€œI need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks β€œAnything else?” The nurse says β€œNope. That’s it.”

Teacher:here have candy Kid:no I’m too fat Teacher:shut up or I’m gonna fail u *next week* Teacher:ok kids get off the floor and go back to your seats Kid:I’m too fat to get up Teacher:don’t u remember what I said Kid:yep elephants don’t forget

Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher informatio-

Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their teachers to a conference. ORPHANS!

Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

Garen: Hey why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animale shelter.

Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw there parents in a diffrent race!

Students: No that's not funny!

Student: SHUT UP!

CAN WE PLEASE STOP THE FRICKING DRAMA! I see people bullying other people too, Gwen is not the only one. For god sake just do jokes, if you want to bully some one do it in your family! You people don't even know each other but were still doing this stupid NONSENSE! JUST MAKE JOKES PEOPLE! That is why it's called "Worst JOKES ever" not "Bully people EVER" SO SHUT UP AND GET A LIFE DUM DUMS! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread HATE AND FOOLISHNESS FROM PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW BETTER THINGS TO DO BUT TO HATE ON STUPID STRANGERS FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE FRICKING WORLD!!!! "Addison shut up your only 8 years old. What do you know.?" I might be 8 but at least I got some sense, and plus I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know like a very, very, very, intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u" I say the true say you instead of "pls" it's "please." Sorry if I did meant it...which I don't!

So my kid every time I walk in the door he shuts his laptop so i check his history It was good but my wife checked mine and she didn't say the same the words I head was get out.

Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player. "What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just something to zone out the other kids." Billy responded. The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack, and pulled out an mp4 player this time. "Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school." Billy responded. The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school, and pulled out an mp5 rifle. "Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped. "Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.

Fat people:do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken

Me:Yes you look like a bunch of boulders crashing in to each other

Fat: dang... Me:shut up jon Browser minnoch

Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

The reason that πŸ‘§ πŸ‘§ are not 🚫 in πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ 🌳 🏘️ is because πŸ‘§ πŸ‘§ can't keep their πŸ‘„ πŸ‘„ πŸ‘„ πŸ‘„ shut about πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ πŸ‘¦ taking turns sucking each others 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭