Shes jokes

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

"Echhh!"

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.

Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?