Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!
So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
