Saturday Night jokes

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

What does Joyce do on a Saturday night?

Netflix and Will? Will? WILL!? WIIIILLLL?

Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"