Run-in jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.

Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.

"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."

They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."

"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"

"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.

"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."

"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"

"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.

Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?

Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

Why can’t you run in a campground?

Because it’s past tents.