Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him tampon and ask him what period it came from
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
I got some from suggestions, research, etc etc. Just to ilLUNATE you.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
