I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are you're parents?" And he started to cry even more... "Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth
dont tell me i haven't got balls i just happen to wear mine mine on my chest and i can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours
What did the woman say too Micheal Jackson at the beach? Excuse me sir, you're in my son
You’re so skinny u use chapstick as deodorant
what do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common. They're both filled with happy little accidents............
i saw a kid sitting on the curb and i asked him are you an orphan? he said ya what gave me away you're parents did.
(Okay, actually improvised this time.)
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer.she can wash her crack and re sell it.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: you’re the bomb! The explosive dude says: wow that was Whitty
*Knock knock*
Why are you knocking on a wall, you're in the Twin Towers and they're going down
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh so you're still on the first episode then?"
Teacher: tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: you're out !!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty, We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
