Pedophille jokes

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

Man: I know how to please a woman.

Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!

Man: I want to give myself to you.

Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous.

Woman: I hate your hair color, though.

Man: You look like a dream.

Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!

Man: I can tell that you want me.

Woman: Yes, I want you dead.

R.I.P.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?

Woman: F*** you, pedophile!

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!

Woman: How dare you!

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

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  • What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?

    One is Catholic and the other is a priest.

    What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.