Pedophille jokes
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.