Parent jokes
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.