Out jokes

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

A guy walked into a bar.

A guy walked out of a bar.

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Why are fire trucks big?

To hang out with the firefighters!

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.

Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.

What is red and puts out fire?

What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"

Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?

Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Statistics show 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

Snooze Dogg.

When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”