Ostrich jokes

Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.

"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"

"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"

Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.