Brass jokes

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

What bathroom does a trumpet go to?

The brass room...

A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.