Orbit jokes

How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.

What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?

Mars bars.

Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.

How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

Your hairline caused the solar flare.

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

How do planets have a baby?

They have spasex.

I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

How do you start a fight in space?

"Comet me, bro."

Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.

Why does Saturn have a ring?

Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!

Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.

Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.