Random person: "Just turn the page and start over." Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
Why does michael jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to nove
I wasn't staring at you I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?
Asking for a friend.
Why can Michael Jackson not play chess. Because he can’t pick which side he is is he on the white or black side
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
Is it just me or when you wipe your ass to deep it reminds you of your uncle. Just me??
is a selfie of a orphan a self portrait or family photo?
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
So my dad said to me and my sister don't fight but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a Girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
If stephen hawking has a heart attack do u take him to halfords or a&e
I want to die peacefully like my uncle but I don’t own a car or have a garage.
