No jokes
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Memes
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.