No jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Memes
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
What's an African's favorite TV show?
Meal Or No Meal!
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
Oh no!
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.