News Report jokes

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?

To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan is typing...

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.