News Report jokes

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan is typing...