News Report jokes

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan is typing...

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.