Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
My day started out great until I woke up.
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
TommyInnit is a joke.
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.