Music jokes
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.